That’s how I feel when I look at this photo.
When we’re calm, and at peace, that’s when I think we make the best decisions and are the best communicators.
Alternatively, when we’re stressed and angry, we make bad decisions are are terrible communicators.
This year has unquestionably been one of the most challenging periods for many of us.
From a personal perspective, me and my partner have had more than our fair share of disagreements during this time.
When I think about times where we’ve not dealt with them well, it’s been where we’ve tried to resolve things while feeling stressed and angry.
When I’m in this state, my thought process feels ‘cloudy’ and I don’t feel in control. I say things I later regret, things that don’t align with my true values.
When I communicate in a loud and aggressive way, how does this make the other person feel?
They generally feel like they need to be on the defensive. Rather than both of us looking for an optimal solution, we end up in an endless cycle of defending ourselves.
Nobody wins and we both end up feeling shit afterwards.
It’s far more effective to deal with situations in a calm and relaxed manner. Instead of thinking about ways to defend ourselves, look for the best solution, even if it isn’t us that puts it forward.
It’s not about being right, it’s about finding win win solutions. Unsurprisingly, I’ve never seen anyone find these when they’re stressed and angry.
If you’re feeling pissed off or upset with your partner, it might not be best to discuss while you feel this way.
Take a walk, or go for a run. Once you’ve done this, you’ll feel calmer and more relaxed. This will enable you to deal with the situation far more effectively.